As vaccinations roll out, health experts still urge families to stay the course and remain vigilant about COVID safety measures. After nearly a year of disrupted learning, research shows students are affected socially and emotionally as well as academically. For some military-connected students, all this upheaval comes on top of a move or deployment. Not much about this year has been easy. Connections—to friends, family, and feelings—can make the difference for students in the home stretch of the pandemic. The good news is that keeping kids connected doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be as simple as going back to basics.

Go Outside and Play

With so much of life happening via computer screen, it’s easy to get stuck inside all day. For healthy breaks, encourage kids to spend a few minutes outdoors each day—with a friend or a sibling, if possible. The combination of fresh air, a change of scenery, a little exercise and companionship—as simple as that sounds—can lift low spirits and break through boredom.

Pull out the warm coats and mittens if necessary. Amy Bushatz, army spouse and coauthor of Stories Around the Table: Laughter, Wisdom, and Strength in Military Life, made a commitment in 2017 to spend at least twenty minutes outside every day, no matter what—and she lives in Alaska.

“It’s never been more important to spend time outside,” says Amy who blogs and podcasts at Humans Outside. “It doesn’t have to be fancy. It doesn’t have to be complicated. It just has to happen.”

When possible, take indoor activities outdoors. To help her daughter make friends after a pandemic-season move, Air Force spouse Stacy Allsbrook-Huisman, coauthor of  Seasons of My Military Student: Practical Ideas for Parents and Teachers, created a backyard book club. Stacy wrote discussion questions to help break the ice. The girls read and discussed a book while socially distancing on the back patio.

Turn off the TV

The pandemic has offered families more time together, but it’s easy to slip into too much screen time. With everyone doing work and school from home, evenings might turn into extended work time, further isolating family members in the same house. Make a commitment to turn off screens, even the television, before dinner a few nights a week to talk or play a game together.

Corie Weathers, army spouse and author of Sacred Spaces: My Journey to the Heart of Military Marriage, experienced deployment in the midst of the pandemic. To connect with her two growing sons, Corie renewed her commitment to spend unplugged time with them. One night, for example, they gathered around the backyard fire pit to roast hotdogs for dinner.

Have a Cookie

Even simple activities have power to connect: baking cookies, sharing a pot of tea, playing cards. It’s not about the game or the cookies but the conversations that happen in those moments. Kids miss being with their friends, but time spent with parents and siblings is better than a substitute. It’s a healthy necessity that strengthens family bonds.

Create connections the old-fashioned way, by writing letters. Students can correspond with grandparents, cousins, or friends from other assignments. Social worker and professor Dr. Carolyn Curtis, writing for Edutopia, suggests connecting students from other states or other schools via epals.com.

Don’t give up on virtual connections either, even if the novelty of playing virtual games has worn thin. Seeing the faces of friends and family still makes a difference, so change it up a little. Dial back the technology and try a real activity together. Share a simple recipe with a friend or a group of friends and make plans to cook together by video. Set up a screen at the kitchen table and have dinner with grandparents or good friends.

Talk About It

When it comes to getting back to basics, connecting with friends and family is key. It’s also important for students to connect with their feelings about the experiences of the past few months, both good and bad. Discussing their feelings will also help them realize how they’ve grown and what they’ve learned. Here are some questions to consider when talking to kids about their experiences:

• What are you most looking forward to that you have missed for the past few months?
• Was there anything you give up during the pandemic that you didn’t miss that much?
• Has this experience changed the way you think or feel about going to school?
• What did you miss about going to school that you didn’t think you would miss?
• What did you learn or discover during the pandemic that you want to remember?

It might also help kids to make a list, write in a journal, or create a vision board for their hopes for the coming year. These questions and activities could provide openings to talk about how they feel, how they’ve changed or grown in this experience.

Playing outside, eating together, talking to each other. It’s pretty back-to-basics stuff, but for a complex problem like getting through a pandemic, the simple things might be the best. Right up there with cookies.

Terri Barnes is a veteran military spouse, journalist, and author of Spouse Calls: Messages From a Military Life. As senior editor for Elva Resa Publishing, Terri was the lead editor of  Seasons of My Military Student: Practical Ideas for Parents and Teachers.

More about supporting students in pandemic circumstances:

• Stormy Season of Leaving: PCSing During the Pandemic
• Online Resources for Learning at Home
• Bringing School Home: Focus on the Possibilities

The post Keep Kids Connected by Going Back to Basics appeared first on Seasons of My Military Student.

Building a strong student-advocacy team is essential for military-connected students. As the school year begins in a pandemic environment, now more than ever, the team-building strategy should include supporting teachers, as well as students.

Military-connected students at new schools won’t be the only ones navigating a new learning landscape this year. Teachers are also feeling uncertainty and stress. For educators, going back to school in a pandemic environment is a new frontier, whether classrooms are virtual, in-person and socially distanced, or a combination. In addition to welcoming new students, teachers are preparing new ways of learning for all their students, while balancing personal concerns about staying healthy and managing their own children’s education.

Becky, a military parent and a district school psychologist in Virginia, encourages parents to advocate for their children while also giving grace and understanding to teachers.

“There are a lot of uncomfortable feelings around the start of school in many places,” says Becky. “Things keep changing. The uncertainty affects everyone and can be unnerving for teachers and parents. If educators also have kids in the district, they may be feeling what parents are feeling. They’re struggling alongside parents.”

Educators who are also parents may be experiencing the same struggles as the parents of their students.

Sarah is a high school teacher in a military-heavy district in South Carolina, which has opted for in-person classes with a virtual option. She says there is some uncertainty around how the requirements for masks and social distancing will work out when classes actually begin in September.

“Our administration is trying to have a plan for as many contingencies as possible, but just not knowing how it’s really going to be plays a role in beginning-of-the-year fears.”

Becky’s district, which also serves many military students, is beginning the school year with virtual-only classes, which presents its own challenges. Like other working parents, teachers may also have their own children attending virtual classes from home.

“There’s also a learning curve for the technology,” says Becky. “It’s exciting, but also intimidating for those who haven’t been teaching in this manner to now have to do that. Offering that grace is so important. Remember a lot of these things that are frustrating (to parents) aren’t even in the teacher’s control. Technology issues, even decisions about virtual versus [in-person] school.”

Stress management and support are important for teachers as well as students, says Becky. As part of a clinical team in her district, she is available to support both students and educators, to be a listening ear, or offer professional development for stress management.

Stress management and support are important for teachers as well as students.

“There’s a big push for social and emotional learning (for students) in our school curriculum,” she says. “As our teachers are teaching their students, they are also reinforcing those skills for themselves, about feelings identification and how to manage big emotions. Emotional wellness is a critical part of learning. Your emotions will respond before your thinking and learning brain can activate.”

In spite of all the uncertainty, military-connected students and their parents can proactively help create an environment of understanding at a new school with good communication at the outset.

Becky and Sarah both advise military-connected parents to introduce their students to new teachers ahead of time, just as they would in any move. If a face-to-face meeting is not available, an email will serve to share any information that would be helpful for teachers to know up front.

“Let teachers know your concerns as a parent,” says Becky. “Put those in the first email, especially anything not in their records. Let teachers know your child is new. It’s true that everybody is new to this (pandemic) situation, but it’s important for teachers to know who is totally new to a community. Keep it short and clear.”

The pandemic situation is new to everyone, but teachers still need to know when students are new to their school and community.

Students attending class virtually may have a harder time connecting, Sarah adds, so an introduction, even by email, is even more important this year for connecting teachers and students.

“If the student is in middle or high school, encourage him or her to begin advocating for themselves, if they don’t already.” Older students can send an email to their teachers to introduce themselves.

Having an Education Binder of information about a student is ideal, says Becky, but if school is virtual and that’s not possible, send key information by email. Perhaps a face-to-face meeting can be planned at a later date, when parents can discuss the binder with teachers.

Sarah, who grew up in a military family and changed schools many times, knows from experience as both educator and student the importance of knowing a student’s military background. Limited contact in a virtual or hybrid classroom may make it more difficult to get to know students, so the more information a teacher has, the better. Knowing a student has attended multiple schools lets the teacher know to look out for potential gaps and overlaps in curriculum or learning.

Limited contact in a virtual or hybrid classroom may make it more difficult to get to know students, so the more information a teacher has, the better.

After classes begin, parents can support teachers by encouraging their students to engage fully in their new classes, whether virtually or in person.

“Work with your child, encourage them to participate,” says Becky. “Make sure your child is holding up their end of the bargain, getting work done, attending virtual or real classes. Teachers may feel deflated when they are trying to reach students virtually and don’t get a response back.”

Sarah will be teaching in person and will have students attending online as well.

“I am going to have to encourage those who are doing school at home to remember that they are in school,” she says. “I can only help students if they show up.”

Both students and teachers may struggle with the virtual environment, especially when it comes to getting to know one another, says Becky.

“Teachers want to be with kids, to build relationships. So much is missing when you’re doing it virtually. This is hard for them too,” she says. Becky offers a few more ideas for ways to show support for teachers while advocating for students:

• Extend extra grace, patience, and understanding whenever you can. Remember, everyone is traveling a new path together, and everyone is feeling more uncertainty and stress than usual.
• Let teachers know you are there to support them. Ask how you can support them and offer to share your areas of expertise or time if you are able.
• If you have concerns about your child, talk to the teacher, and don’t hesitate to reach out to school mental health resources as well: a counselor, social worker, or psychologist.
• Keep teachers informed about difficulties, whether technical, personal, or academic.
• When emailing a teacher about an issue or to request a time to talk, give the teacher 24 to 48 hours to respond. They may not be able to respond during non-class hours when they are at home caring for their families.
• Send teachers random notes and emails of gratitude and support. Let them know what is working well for your student and when you appreciate what they are doing.

“Remember that many of us are parents too,” says Sarah. “We came into this profession because we love kids. This is a super weird and stressful time for everyone. When we enter into community with anyone, the best default is to trust. … I want what parents want—the best for their kids. If we can keep an open dialogue, things will start better.”

Terri Barnes is the mother of three military children who attended a combined twenty-seven schools, K-12. She is the author of  Spouse Calls: Messages from a Military Life and editor of  Seasons of My Military Student: Practical Ideas for Parents and Teachers.

More about supporting families and educators:

• Q and A with School Superintendent Jesse Najera
• How Schools can Help Military Kids Moving in a Pandemic by Stacy Allsbrook-Huisman in Military Times
• The Pandemic’s Toll on Teachers is Palpable by Marc Brackett, Mark Cannizzaro, and Scott Levy in EdSurge

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In military communities, students who are not moving feel the effects of the Season of Leaving when friends move away. Whether they are leaving or not, students may have to say goodbye to good friends and even best friends.  Children whose friends move away experience the same grief and need the same care and attention they would need if they were moving.

When friends move away, the familiar landscape of life shifts, even for kids who remain in the same place. The student left behind is surrounded by reminders of the friends who have moved—the soccer field, the neighborhood park, houses where friends used to live. Even a child’s own toys can become reminders of how much they miss spending time with a special friend.

No matter who is doing the leaving, being separated from friends is difficult. It’s important to recognize the pain for both those who are moving and the ones left behind. The emotional reactions of kids on both sides are very similar and need similar care and attention.

Make Time for Goodbye

Saying goodbye is very important, both for students who move away and those remaining. There are many ways to say goodbye, and kids need the opportunity to say it. A good goodbye acknowledges the importance and value of the friendship and validates the sorrow of being separated. When friends are moving, make time to say goodbye, whether at a party or in quiet moments together.

Plan ways for friends to stay in touch through technology, writing letters, or making plans for a visit if possible. A valuable friendship is worth the effort of staying in touch. Making this effort demonstrates the power of friendship to overcome time and distance.

Make Room for Feelings

Encourage children to discuss how they feel about a friend’s departure and let them know their feelings are real and recognized. Don’t dismiss their sorrow or try to remind them of disagreements or other negatives about the missing friend. Reassure them that friendship is valuable and important, and having friends to love is worth the pain of saying goodbye.

Let children have their own timeline for their feelings. Deal with waves of sadness as they come. Children may be overwhelmed by grief right away, or they may not seem so sad at first. The loss may hit them later when they see something or go somewhere that reminds them of their missing friend. They likely will experience a series of emotional ups and downs and will need comfort and reassurance as the need arises.

Make Friends for Life

After a friend has moved away, encourage children to connect with friends nearby and make plans together. Kids may be hesitant to seek out these connections out of loyalty to the friend who left. Let them know having other friends doesn’t change the love they have for the one who moved. They can enjoy friends who are nearby and stay in touch with those who are far away.

Children may also resist new relationships to avoid painful goodbyes in the future. Parents and teachers can’t push kids into making new friends, but they can offer reassurance that friendships are an important part of life. Saying goodbye is hard, but not having friends at all is much harder.

Many friendships in military life transcend time and distance, even—or especially—friendships formed in childhood. Sometimes military moves reunite friends from past assignments, and sometimes military families maintain strong relationships with good communication and occasional visits.

Helping children understand the value of friendships both old and new builds strength and security as they grow into adults. When children discover the sustaining power of friendship in spite of time and distance, they will treasure longtime friends and be more open to new ones.

Terri Barnes, senior editor at Elva Resa Publishing, has moved at least twenty times in her life as a military child, military spouse, and mother of three military children. She is the author of  Spouse Calls: Messages from a Military Life and editor of  Seasons of My Military Student: Practical Ideas for Parents and Teachers.

More about helping students in the Season of Leaving:

• Why saying goodbye is mportant: Good Goodbyes and Building Resilience
• Healthy tips for moving with kids: Healthy Ways to Handle PCS
• Benefits of journaling: Write it Out: Journaling Helps Kids Process Emotions

Vain kehonrakennus anavar kansallinen kehonrakennusvalmentaja pidätettiin Elchessä anabolisten lääkkeiden kaupasta.

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No matter when they occur in the school calendar, the first two weeks at a new school are crucial for the integration of military-connected students, say Amanda Trimillos and Stacy Allsbrook-Huisman, coauthors of Seasons of My Military Student: Practical Ideas for Parents and Teachers. Fortunately, teachers can ease this transition in the Season of Arriving with a few simple actions.

Amanda and Stacy offer these ways teachers can provide a warm welcome to students arriving midyear:

Seating Arrangements

In classrooms with assigned seats, keep a few open desks throughout the room if possible. When a new student joins the classroom at any time during the year, it’s nice to offer a seat surrounded by classmates, instead of an isolated, leftover desk. Consider changing seat assignments every month or so throughout the year, so that a new student is more easily integrated into normal procedures.

Welcome packets

Keep up-to-date welcome packets on hand for arrivals anytime during the school year, with a map of the school, schedules, calendar, and a supply list. Be sure to provide the new student with the same guidance about class and grading procedures the rest of the class received at the beginning of the year.

Conversations

Use the welcome packet information as the basis for friendly conversations with parents and students, rather than just paperwork sent home in the backpack. Set aside time to talk to the student about the map, schedules and more. If possible, include parents in these conversations and welcome them as well. Be sure the student knows the locations of bathrooms and the cafeteria, and bus pick-up areas. Teachers can also offer parents reassurance and ways to support their student through a midyear move. A warm welcome initiates healthy communication for the parent-teacher team.

Extra Supplies

Class supply lists may not be readily available to students arriving at midyear, so keep on hand a starter kit of classroom supplies just in case: paper, pens, notebooks, a calculator to borrow. Having the right materials helps the newcomer feel more comfortable right away. If the class uses composition books for daily journal time, for example, a new student will feel more at home if she has one on the first day.

Buddies

Connecting new students with peers one-on-one is another way to provide a warm, personal welcome. For younger students, a formal buddy system may be the best choice. Alternatively, perhaps for older students, a teacher make connections in less formal ways, asking a specific classmate to help a new student find the cafeteria or connecting students with similar interests in casual conversation during class.

Integrated roles

If there is a rotating list of classroom helpers, or a birthday list, adding a new student right away will help him integrate more quickly. Giving a new student a simple duty, such as delivering something to the office or to a nearby classroom, will give her a chance to navigate hallways on her own and gain confidence.

Military Kids Clubs

If the school has a group or club for military students, introduce new military-connected kids when they arrive. Military kids clubs are a good way for students to connect in a new community with peers and adults who understand their way of life.

When helping a new student integrate, be conscious of personality and preferences. Some students may welcome the attention of the whole class, while others respond to a quieter approach. All students will benefit from a teacher’s extra efforts to reach out. All year long, a thoughtful teacher motivates students to be thoughtful as well, and a few kind and simple actions make all the difference for each new arrival.

Some material adapted from Seasons of My Military Student: Practical Ideas for Parents and Teachers by Amanda Trimillos, EdD, and Stacy Allsbrook-Huisman.

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Moving can be a difficult time for any military family. We say goodbye to our friends, our neighbors, our routines, and our support system.  But for high school students, changing schools because of a military move—or permanent change of station (PCS)—could mean saying goodbye to much, much more. A move in high school can put students at risk for repeating courses and losing credits, resulting in delayed graduation, which in turn can affect college acceptance.

But help is available. The Interstate Compact on Educational Opportunity for Military Children has a lot to say about allowing military-connected students to graduate on time! Knowing the provisions of the Interstate Compact and how to use those provisions can lessen the negative impact of a move during high school. Parents and educators need to know the Interstate Compact and the solutions it offers, as well as take some proactive measures.

Repeating Classes

Challenge: Each state has graduation requirements that may only be able to be met in that state, for example a state history requirement. Students PCSing in their junior or senior year have probably met this requirement in the sending school but have not taken the state history for the state they will graduate. Repeating courses like these could delay graduation.

Provisions: The Interstate Compact, Chapter 400, covers graduation requirements. Provisions in the compact allow schools to waive graduation requirements if those same requirements were met at a previous school. This means a student should not be required to take a class in state history in more than one state when moving to a new state on military orders. According to the compact, if a waiver cannot be granted, the school has the responsibility to provide alternative options to ensure the student will graduate on time.

Testing Requirements

Challenge: Just as states set their own mandatory courses, they also have their own system of testing required for graduation. States might call these exit exams or standards of learning, or they might use national achievement tests as a graduation requirement. Many times, military-connected students take various equivalent tests at each high school they attend.

Provisions: The Interstate Compact, Chapter 400 on graduation requirements, also allows schools to accept tests taken and passed at a previous high school in lieu of those required by a receiving school. If the student has passed the exit exam requirement in one state, the requirement should also be valid at subsequent schools. If the student was not required to take a state exam but took a national assessment exam, the school might be able to accept the national exam to fulfill the testing requirement. Students and parents should discuss these possibilities with school counselors and administrators, and carry a copy of the Interstate Compact.

Credit transfers

Challenge: Military-connected students often find some classes on their transcripts do not transfer to a new school, because of varying course descriptions. Courses in each school may be similar, but the titles and descriptions vary and may not offer enough information about class content. When course titles and learning objectives are unclear, core classes a student has taken may transfer as electives, and the student may have to retake a core class, if the receiving school can’t determine the class content and whether it meets their requirement.

Provisions: Interstate Compact Chapter 500 covers placement and attendance, and helps keep students from repeating courses so they can graduate. While the Interstate Compact does offer some help, students and parents should also be proactive.

<A high school student’s Education Binder should include course descriptions, lists of textbooks, and course standards taught. The sending school or teacher can provide this information. These will help the receiving school determine course content, align the course descriptions with their own, and determine how to give credit.

Specialized Courses

Challenge: Not all schools offer equivalent classes.  These classes often come in the form of higher-level math, language, or specialized courses only offered in specific schools across the nation.  This challenge is often seen when a student needs multiple years of the same language for either graduation or college applications, but the new school does not offer the same language options.

Provisions:. The Interstate Compact, Chapter 500 on placement and attendance, also helps with this challenge. According to the compact, the receiving school may allow the student to attend similar educational courses in other schools if the courses are not offered at the new school.

Parents and students may also explore:

<Local dual enrollment options that allow a student to college-level courses while in high school.

<Online courses that allow the student to take courses not available at their brick-and-mortar school. For example, Department of Defense Education Activity Virtual High School. Students eligible to attend DODEA schools are also eligible for this online school, including students who started their courses in a DoDEA school but cannot complete them in their new location.

Challenge: Students may transfer into a new school and not be able or eligible to continue in their honors, advanced placement, gifted, special education, or support classes.  The receiving school may not offer the same courses for the grade level or may require prerequisites to enter into a program.  Required teacher evaluations and recommendations vary, and may delay or deny a student’s enrollment in special courses.

Provisions: The Interstate Compact, Chapter 500 on placement and attendance, helps with this too. The compact states that incoming students are to be enrolled in the same level of classes as those at a sending school. Receiving states or districts do have the right to retest students to ensure proper placement, but according to the compact, students are to be first to be enrolled in equivalent level class and then moved if needed after testing takes place. This keeps eligible students from missing valuable instruction time while waiting for testing.

Many frustrations and challenges come hand-in-hand with a PCS during the high school years.  While declining orders or choosing a geo-bachelor solution may be an option, the compacts protections and provisions can help the students as they move with their families.

The first step is to read and re-read the Intestate Compact. Know the solutions it mandates, the solutions it suggests, and what solutions it doesn’t address. Start the conversation with a new school as early as possible to make the transition as smooth as possible for everyone.

Amanda Trimillos, EdD, helps education colleagues integrate military-connected students into the classroom.  She is a military spouse, mother, National Board-Certified Teacher, and the coauthor of Seasons of My Military Student: Practical Ideas for Parents and Teachers.

• Power of the Education Binder Goes Beyond Graduation
• Student Resume: Collecting Skills and Materials

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In meet-the-teacher sessions at new schools with my children, time and time again I heard teachers use the term “proactive communication.” Teachers offer parents several ways to communicate – email addresses, phone numbers, and notation areas in student agendas. They emphasize the importance of proactive communication with all parents.

But, sometimes as parents, we aren’t one hundred percent sure when to use proactive parental communication and when to encourage our kids to advocate for themselves. This uncertainty is compounded for parents of military-connected families when deployments and PCS orders throw extra challenges in our kid’s lives. Both parent- and student-initiated proactive communication are necessary. Parent, teacher, and student are all part of the student-advocacy team and must communicate effectively.

As a teacher, the most common question I am asked is “When should parents reach out to a teacher?” Should they immediately call when they see a potential challenge, or should they wait to see how their student handles the situation first? The answer lies both in the age and maturity of the student as well as the severity of the situation. Parents of elementary and middle school students typically use proactive communication more often than parents of high school students.

Sometimes as parents, we aren’t one hundred percent sure when to use proactive communication and when to encourage our kids to advocate for themselves.

For military-connected students of all ages though, a parent’s best indicator on how to answer the proactive communication question is the student’s placement in the Season of Transition^TM.  In each season it is good to encourage students of all ages to use student-initiated communication, but often proactive communication from parents is critical to how quickly the student progresses to the Season of Thriving.

Season of Leaving

The Season of Leaving calls for both proactive communication by the parent and student. When parents are ready to disclose that PCS orders are here, it is time to reach out to the teacher to ensure he knows of the upcoming move. This can be done via the student or the parent so long as communication is also open between parent and teacher. Be open both about social and academic concerns.

“What skills do we need to focus on to be sure my daughter is ready for a new school?”

“We are living in a hotel with no quiet place to do homework.”

Talk about ways to help the student say goodbye in healthy ways. Work together to prepare the student for the new school and new curriculum expectations. Request the teacher write a teacher-to-teacher letter for use at the new school. Discuss with the student how to help him finish his time at this school feeling successful and confident for a new school location.

Season of Arriving

In the Season of Arriving, proactive communication from parents is particularly essential. In this season a parent should connect with the teacher before the student’s first day at a new school and again at the two-week point. At registration, parents should give the school the student’s Education Binder, which includes the teacher-to-teacher letter, information about past schools, experiences, accomplishments, and challenges. Schedule a short conference for the second week of school to introduce to discuss any class placement challenges or integration with peers. Being respectful of the child’s personality, try phrasing challenges into positive discussions.

“My daughter had a strong group friends and was active in clubs at our last school, what is the best way for her to become active here at this school?”

“My son is repeating classwork here. Will the curriculum move to a new skill soon or is there a better fit for his needs?”

In the conference, set a plan and timeline of when the school anticipates the student should feel fully integrated with friends and the classwork. Discuss ways the school encourages all students to approach teachers on especially challenging days; and set the student up for productive conversations with teachers.

Season of Growing

The Season of Growing calls for both proactive parent- and student-initiated communication. By the time a student reaches the Season of Growing, teachers and classmates may forget the military-connected student is still new. A buddy program that helped the student in the Season of Arriving is ending, and the student is on his own to navigate his school experience, to connect with friends and with learning.

The goal of the student-advocacy team is to encourage students to work toward self-advocacy, and to help them use student-initiated communication successfully. In this case a parent can use proactive communication with the student, encouraging and helping him or her to seek solutions. Teachers can also present ways students can reach out to teachers on especially challenging days and set the student up for productive conversations.

The goal of the student-advocacy team is to encourage students to work toward self-advocacy, and to help them use student-initiated communication successfully.

If your daughter’s classes are too far apart, and she’s having trouble getting to classes on time, encourage her to speak to her teachers to set a plan for success.

If your straight-A-student son is coming home with D’s and C’s, encourage him to speak to the teacher about tutoring programs.

Parents should be prepared to step in with proactive communications to be sure the student receives the help he needs and not wait for a challenge to create lasting consequences. In this season, it is still vital for parents and teachers, as well as students, to partner on topics like gaps or overlaps in learning. Consider that perhaps this season is exactly why teachers give parents their contact information in the first week of school.

Season of Thriving

The Season of Thriving is prime time for student-initiated communication. In this season the student is fully integrated into her school, probably has one or more committed friends, and is adjusted to the curriculum. Feeling confident to approach teachers directly and participating in extra activities are good markers that the student has reached the Season of Thriving. Communication between parents and teachers occurs less often. Students are ready and able to use student-initiated communication.

“I was invited to apply for a student leadership camp, but first I have to talk to my teachers about missing five days of class.”

“I don’t understand the assignment. Can I come in after lunch for help?”

This does not mean that parents and teachers stop initiating communication. The partnership between teachers and parents continues, as does the work of the student-advocacy team. In every season, the team continues to support the student’s ability to initiate communication and advocate for themselves. Then parents and teachers can enjoy seeing the student grow in confidence and independence.

Amanda Trimillos, EdD, is a military spouse, mother, National Board-Certified Teacher, and the coauthor of Seasons of My Military Student: Practical Ideas for Parents and Teachers.

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When navigating and building support networks for military life, personal connections make all the difference. For all the moving pieces—transitions, mental health, school changes, deployment, and more—many avenues of support are available, and a few helping hands can bring those pieces together. Seasons of My Military Student coauthors Amanda Trimillos and Stacy Allsbrook-Huisman and other experienced military spouses share best practices for building support networks.

Read more at MilitaryFamilyLife.com

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“Although they come from different branches of service, military kids have a meeting point in their friendship that is different from civilian friends,” says military mom and military kids club volunteer Stacy Allsbrook-Huisman. “It’s a quiet understanding, and it’s real.”

A military kids club can be initiated by parents, students, educators, or support organizations. Stacy, with help from her school’s Parent Teacher Association, helped create a military kids club at her children’s elementary school. She says the club benefits both students and the school in at least five ways:

Connection

At a new school, students meet other mobile military kids who understand her perspective. Military kids clubs can also work in tandem with buddy programs that connect new students individually.

Deployment support

Military kids club can connect kids who are experiencing deployment, enabling them to share their feelings with other kids going through deployment. These connections relieve feelings of fear and isolation.

Awareness

The numbers and participation in the club give the school and school district a window into the military population in their school.

Action

Awareness of military-connected students inspires professional development for teachers and staff about the experiences and needs of those students.

Celebration

When military kids connect, and the school is more aware of their presence, celebrating them takes on a new emphasis. Military kids club members can even take the lead for celebrating Month of the Military Child each April.

“Purple Up and Month of the Military Child are about military kids sharing their stories and celebrating their own experiences as much as others celebrating them,” says Stacy. “Having a military kids club gives them opportunities to share their way of life with each other and with their civilian peers.”

Amanda Trimillos, a teacher and mother of military-connected students, says being connected with other military kids was beneficial to her kids during deployment.

“It helped my children realize fellow classmates also had a parent deployed. It helped them feel part of an exclusive club,” she says. “I only wish every school would offer such an opportunity. It allows students to meet new friends and ensures no one is lost or alone.”

“I only wish every school would offer such an opportunity. It allows students to meet new friends and ensures no one is lost or alone.”

–Amanda Trimillos

To start a military kids club, Stacy and Amanda suggest beginning with support from a parent-teacher organizations or school guidance counselor. The club will need a teacher sponsor for accountability and support for a meeting location and materials.

“The program fits best under a PTA or PTO as an official program,” Stacy says, and suggests monthly, themed meetings for the students. Club goals should include offering a warm welcome and fond farewell for students moving in and out of the school.

Stacy has seen the club at her local school make a difference for military kids and for the school.

“After building the club with the support from my PTA, our military kids club became one of the largest clubs at the school with nearly sixty-five kids attending every month,” says Stacy. “Parents have sent emails thanking me and the school for helping their kids find their tribe after a new move. Every email I get brings me motivation to continue and few tears of gratefulness for the support of my school.”

Amanda Trimillos, EdD, and Stacy Allsbrook-Huisman are coauthors of Seasons of My Military Student: Practical Ideas for Parents and Teachers.

More about helping kids connect:

• New School: 5 tips to Prepare Your Student
• Military Kids Club Start-Up Plan by Stacy Allsbrook-Huisman at Families on the Homefront

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“Among the Seasons of Transition^TM , one of the most critical times is the Season of Arriving, particularly the first two weeks at a new school,” says Amanda Trimillos, military spouse, mom and teacher. “It sets the platform on how quickly a student will move into the next seasons of growing and thriving.”

Stacy Allsbrook-Huisman, also a military spouse and mom, agrees. Both Amanda and Stacy and their families are actively involved with local school programs that connect students with peers and have seen the positive impact they can have on students and families.

“Most kids will make friends easily if they are given the opportunity,” says Stacy. “A good sponsor program can give them the opportunity.”

Buddy or sponsor programs may be formal or informal, operated by schools, parents, or organizations, such as the Parent Teacher Association or a scout troop. Some may connect kids for the first week or two of school, just long enough to learn their way around campus. Others have a longer time-frame or are connected to another program that runs throughout the school year. In different ways, each helps kids transition to a new place.

Summer buddy programs are often run by the PTA, Amanda explains. During the school year, current students sign up to be buddies for new students moving in during the summer. When arriving or soon-to-arrive students request buddies, the PTA matches the students and connects them, usually by email, so they can connect to ask and answer questions during the summer.

“Most kids will make friends easily if they are given the opportunity.”

–Stacy Allsbrook-Huisman

“The hope is that the kids will be able to get together at least once in person before school starts,” Amanda says.

Programs to match students when they arrive at a new school are usually coordinated by the school counselor or another teacher in partnership with the counselor. Incoming students are connected with a buddy on their first day at a new school.

“These buddies are typically classmates who can support the student throughout the school day,” Amanda says. “In elementary school, the classroom teacher may take on the role of assigning the buddy. In middle and high school, the school counselor will review the student’s schedule and choose a buddy accordingly.”

Schools offering these types of buddy programs often have a class or a club whose focus is training and practicing for this role, she says. Programs will have various criteria for matching students, such as grade level, interests, and more.

The elementary school Stacy’s children attend has a sponsor program operated by the PTA, of which Stacy is an active part.

“Our sponsor program matches interests, hobbies, ages, and the program coordinator will work with the school to match students in the same class when class rosters are set,” says Stacy. She says they also ask newcomers if they are military and connects them with other military families.

If there is no buddy program at a new school, Amanda says incoming families can still reach out to the school counselor or to the PTA—or both—and request a connection to a student or family willing to be a sponsor a new student.

“Be specific in what type of connection you hope the school will help create,” she says. “The counselor may already have a student in mind who can fill that unofficial buddy program role. Or the PTA may be able to connect a new family with other parents with kids in the same grade.”

Emily, a middle school student, initiated a program at her school through the Military Child Education Coalition’s Junior Student to Student program.

As well as connecting her to peers, Emily says the program gives her leadership and volunteer opportunities she might not have otherwise as a transplanted student.

“I’m learning transferable skills of networking that I can take to any new school or eventual job,” says Emily. Having volunteer hours in the club also helped her get into competitive organizations like National Junior Honor Society and leadership summits.

For parents or students who would like to initiate a buddy program at their school, Stacy advises creating a plan for the program and how it would work before approaching the school or PTA about it.

“Write out a plan for what the sponsor program’s mission is and how it would work, then contact the head of the PTA , school counselor, or student government” says Stacy. “It’s a lot easier to garner support for a new program if a parent is organized and prepared. Most organizations would find this an easy program to initiate with little cost.”

Questions to consider when creating a program:

Leadership: Will the program be led by students, parents, teachers, or an organization?

Program purpose: Should it connect families to the community, help a student navigate a new campus or find ways to get involved?

Time frame: Will students be connected during the summer, for the first two weeks of school, the first semester?

Signups: How will students and families volunteer to be buddies or to request buddies?

Matching: How will matches be decided and connected?

An existing program or framework might also be helpful.

The Student 2 Student program, created by the Military Child Education Coalition for use in local schools, develops peer connections for high school and middle school students. On campus these are usually student-led programs with guidance counselors and teachers as advisors. MCEC offers a two-day leadership training to teach students how to run the program, which can be affiliated with a school club or organization, such as an honor society or scout troop

Another nationwide program, Start with Hello, teaches students from second to twelfth grade skills to reach out include others. The program aims to create a culture of inclusion and connectedness at schools and avoid social isolation.

Amanda Trimillos, EdD, and Stacy Allsbrook-Huisman are coauthors of Seasons of My Military Student: Practical Ideas for Parents and Teachers.

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In the Season of Leaving, parents, teachers, and students work together to build an exit plan to cultivate a smooth transition from one school to another. A strong exit plan takes into account all the events, tasks, and actions leading up to the student’s last day of class, ensuring a healthy transition academically, socially, and emotionally.

If military orders require a student to leave before the school year ends, the student might miss final exam and project due dates or end-of-year celebrations. An exit plan helps the student-advocacy team to recognize potential conflicts and meet them proactively.

For any departure date, it’s essential for parents, teachers, and students to build the exit plan together. Elementary school students may have only one teacher, while middle and high school students will have several teachers and classes. A school counselor or lead teacher can help coordinate and consolidate all important dates, expectations, and events. A strong exit plan begins with team conversations and questions to consider on these key topics:

Exit Date

The date of a move is the starting point for building the exit plan, whether the student will remain until the last day of class or leave early. Talk about all important dates, such as packing household goods, family events, and farewell parties.  Questions to consider:

• When is the student’s last day of class?
• When is the earliest a student can depart and still receive credit for her courses?
• What activities, field trips, or school celebrations need to be considered?

Paperwork

As soon as orders are official, parents should initiate the process of withdrawing students from school. The Interstate Compact on Educational Opportunity for Military Children has provisions to allow military families to request hand-carried transcripts to avoid delays in enrollment at a receiving school. Questions to consider:

• What are the school’s withdrawal policies and requirements?
• How can parents obtain paperwork and transcripts to hand-carry to the new school?
• What paperwork does the receiving school require for enrollment?

Education Binder

Review and organize the contents of the student‘s Education Binder. Questions to consider:

• What materials should be added to the binder before departure?
• Does the binder include textbooks and curricula the student has used?
• Request teacher-to-teacher letters from sending to receiving educators.

Learning timeline

Discuss any learning gaps and academic challenges. Teachers can tailor final assignments specifically to the student’s needs. Parents and students can focus on areas needing attention. Questions to consider:

• Is information available about programs and curricula at the receiving school?
• Does the student need to focus on particular areas of skill or knowledge?
• Ask teachers to build a review pack to help the student build and maintain learning during the move.

Assignment due dates

Discuss what assignments and projects the student must complete before departure. Perhaps there are assignments the student can miss in order to focus his attention on the upcoming PCS. Questions to consider:

• What are the due dates, and do they need to be adjusted?
• What supplies will the student need to complete projects and assignments?
• Are those supplies and projects set aside at home so they won’t be packed with household goods?

Final exams

Planning ahead is essential when it comes to final exams and standardized testing. Special approval or waivers may be needed to provide alternate dates for state-mandated tests. Check the calendar as far ahead as possible to plan for any necessary accommodations. Questions to consider:

• Is there conflict between departure dates and final exams or end-of-year testing?
• What is the district policy for adjusting test dates for military students with conflicts due to PCS orders?
• Who is the point of contact for requesting date changes?

Good goodbyes

Last, but certainly not least, the exit plan should include opportunities for students to say good-bye to friends and teachers. Saying goodbye is important in the social and emotional component of departure. Ask and act on the student’s preferences as much as possible, and make goodbyes a priority in the busy Season of Leaving. Questions to consider:

• What class or school events does the student want to attend?
• How and when would the student like to say goodbye to classmates and peers?
• Are there some goodbyes the student would like to say one-on-one? In a large group?

A solid exit plan recognizes what the student needs for a strong Season of Leaving and allows the student’s support team to agree on how to meet those needs. The plan balances school responsibilities and time with friends with practical concerns, such as packing up household goods and cleaning out school lockers. The exit plan ensures projects and assignments arrive promptly on the teachers desk ready for grading, rather than accidentally packed in the back of a moving truck. The plan also offers the student opportunities for saying goodbye to friends, mentors, and classmates.

The exit plan brings closure academically, socially, and emotionally for the student in the Season of Leaving, preparing the way for success in the coming  Season of Arriving.

Amanda Trimillos, EdD, is a military spouse, mother, and National Board-Certified Teacher with extensive experience teaching military students in the United States and overseas. She is coauthor of Seasons of My Military Student: Practical Ideas for Parents and Teachers and wrote the essay “School Choices and Changes” in  Stories Around the Table: Laugher, Wisdom, and Strength in Military Life.

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