Military-connected students adjusting to a new school commonly experience feelings of isolation, confusion, and searching for support. Students switching schools during the COVID-19 pandemic seemed to experience these feelings even more intensely.

In an online round table discussion, Secretary of Education Miguel Cardona hosted a Zoom call with a dozen military-connected students from across the globe to chat about how their lives have been impacted by the coronavirus pandemic. What was learned from students and their experiences can be applied not only to schools that are still in hybrid or virtual environments, but also as a basis for programming to help military-connected students feel more welcome when entering a new school anytime in the future.

During the round table discussion, which included students ranging from elementary school kids to seniors in high school, every child, without exception, talked about their struggle to finding their footing after a move and the need for a universal student sponsorship program.

Erik,* a high school freshman in Northern Virginia, moved during the summer of 2020 during the height of the pandemic. He describes his experience as confusing and isolating.

“Moving from a state that stayed in person for five days a week to a state that went 100 percent virtual for seven months—it was confusing. The entire community seemed locked down. I understood why, but it felt like no one could see me. For a new student, how are kids supposed to process and embrace a new school when they don’t even know I’m here?”

Other students echoed Erik’s experience and concerns. Students and parents attending the call said there was a need for connecting new students with their school, peers, and community—especially during school closures. PCSing during the pandemic exaggerated feelings of isolation for new students. There was a resounding consensus that a student sponsor program would help new students—military-connected or not—feel more supported in school.

Many schools already have a student sponsor or student ambassador programs in place. And military kids remembered fondly their past experiences with sponsor programs and how they connected them with peers when they most needed it.

“One way our school helps military students is by having a military student ambassador welcome the new student. This helps ease some of the socialization stress we face from going from one school to another in such a short period of time,” says Elizabeth, a twelfth-grade student at Knob Noster High School in Missouri.

Abby,* a seventh-grade student in Virginia, says her experience with student sponsor programs made her feel more accepted into the school community more quickly. Her last school in Florida had a family match program set up by the Parent-Teacher Association (PTA), which matched similar families—fourth grade with fourth grade, military families with military families, and so on. Existing families in the district “sponsored” new families.

“It was fun. We had ice cream socials with our new friends, and they were someone we could call if we had questions, too. It really made a difference how new kids felt about being new,” Abby says.

Ways to Create a Student Sponsor Program

A student sponsor program can work at any age and any grade and through a range of platforms and executions. While PTAs are great for organizing sponsor programs because they are often more flexible in planning events and providing funding, a school can easily adopt a sponsor program in the form of a student ambassador program through their Student Government Association (SGA) or through after-school clubs. As a tool for SGA or a club, a sponsorship program can offer leadership roles for middle and high school students and allow new students, once settled, to pay it forward to the next family.

However, the most overlooked place for a student sponsor program is likely in the classroom. Teachers have an opportunity to let students take the lead in helping a new classmate feel a little more settled. Small gestures like sitting together at lunch, showing new students around the school, and handing out a helpful guide of the area can bolster confidence in students that are new to the school. The class can develop a living document, like a community fact sheet, where students can jot helpful tips and tricks, favorite places to eat, or best places to have a birthday party. That information can be given to new students upon arrival as a welcome packet.

Support Students Upon Arrival, During the Year, and When They Leave

A good start to any student sponsor or ambassador program is to support the student as soon as they arrive at a new school. Then students need support throughout the school year too—and many military students leave before the end of the official school year. A student sponsor program should help those students when they exit a school as well. In the military, it’s called “Hails and Farewells.” And it’s an easy way to emotionally support students who live a highly mobile lifestyle like military kids.

Hails: A student sponsor program’s priority is to welcome all new students—military connected or civilian—to their school with a welcome. It could be as small as assigning one peer to help the new student find their way around the building or have a buddy to sit next to at lunch. Or it could be a larger, broader program that allows student sponsors to have socials, school spirit wear, and more. The goal is to make new students feel welcome, connected, and included on their first day so they can focus more on school and less on being new.

Farewells: It’s hard to leave a school mid-year or before school has officially ended. A student sponsor program focuses on ensuring all moving students feel like they were valued at the school and will not be forgotten by giving them a send-off gift from the school. From ensuring they get a yearbook at the end of year to coordinating letters of farewell from their teachers or gifting a simple school t-shirt, any supportive gesture will help a student who is feeling anxious or emotional about leaving their school.

Benefits for Students Who Stay in the School

A school student sponsor or ambassador program is an essential program for supporting highly mobile students like military kids. But it’s also a great way to teach empathy and build leadership for students who will stay in the district for a long time—perhaps the entirety of their school career. Students who volunteer as sponsors will better understand the challenges of their military-connected friends, which will broaden their perspectives in their own lives while also helping them welcome the next new student even better.

Benefits for Military-Connected Students (and Other Mobile Students!)

It’s vital for the emotional well-being of tweens and teens changing schools to land at a school that understands the challenges of being in a military-connected family. Sponsor programs need to be more than a plan on paper. Programs need resources and commitment from school organizations like the PTA or from the school and parents themselves. Student sponsor programs help all new students thrive in school faster so students can focus on academics rather than the social and emotional part of settling into a new community. For military families that’s important, because orders to move often come when they least expect it.

In whatever way a school plans and executes its student sponsorship program, the most important aspect is to truly commit to helping new students and providing resources they need at the time they really need them. When the Secretary of Education asked for final comments, Abby said it best: “My school said they wanted to start a school wide student sponsor program, but they didn’t do anything that related to helping new kids settle. My mom did all the work for them, and they didn’t really try. Nice teachers, but they didn’t get us military kids.”

*Erik and Abby are the children of the author.

Stacy Huisman is a mother of two, Air Force spouse, and freelance writer. An advocate with a passion for military-connected children and their families, Stacy is coauthor of Seasons of My Military Student: Practical Ideas for Parents and Teachers. She’s dedicated the last decade to understanding the challenges military kids face when changing schools. 

More about supporting students during transitions:

• • Early Planning Helps School Transition
  • Five Ways Military Kids Clubs Help Students and Schools
  • How to join the Seasons of My Military Student Cultivation Team

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In military communities, students who are not moving feel the effects of the Season of Leaving when friends move away. Whether they are leaving or not, students may have to say goodbye to good friends and even best friends.  Children whose friends move away experience the same grief and need the same care and attention they would need if they were moving.

When friends move away, the familiar landscape of life shifts, even for kids who remain in the same place. The student left behind is surrounded by reminders of the friends who have moved—the soccer field, the neighborhood park, houses where friends used to live. Even a child’s own toys can become reminders of how much they miss spending time with a special friend.

No matter who is doing the leaving, being separated from friends is difficult. It’s important to recognize the pain for both those who are moving and the ones left behind. The emotional reactions of kids on both sides are very similar and need similar care and attention.

Make Time for Goodbye

Saying goodbye is very important, both for students who move away and those remaining. There are many ways to say goodbye, and kids need the opportunity to say it. A good goodbye acknowledges the importance and value of the friendship and validates the sorrow of being separated. When friends are moving, make time to say goodbye, whether at a party or in quiet moments together.

Plan ways for friends to stay in touch through technology, writing letters, or making plans for a visit if possible. A valuable friendship is worth the effort of staying in touch. Making this effort demonstrates the power of friendship to overcome time and distance.

Make Room for Feelings

Encourage children to discuss how they feel about a friend’s departure and let them know their feelings are real and recognized. Don’t dismiss their sorrow or try to remind them of disagreements or other negatives about the missing friend. Reassure them that friendship is valuable and important, and having friends to love is worth the pain of saying goodbye.

Let children have their own timeline for their feelings. Deal with waves of sadness as they come. Children may be overwhelmed by grief right away, or they may not seem so sad at first. The loss may hit them later when they see something or go somewhere that reminds them of their missing friend. They likely will experience a series of emotional ups and downs and will need comfort and reassurance as the need arises.

Make Friends for Life

After a friend has moved away, encourage children to connect with friends nearby and make plans together. Kids may be hesitant to seek out these connections out of loyalty to the friend who left. Let them know having other friends doesn’t change the love they have for the one who moved. They can enjoy friends who are nearby and stay in touch with those who are far away.

Children may also resist new relationships to avoid painful goodbyes in the future. Parents and teachers can’t push kids into making new friends, but they can offer reassurance that friendships are an important part of life. Saying goodbye is hard, but not having friends at all is much harder.

Many friendships in military life transcend time and distance, even—or especially—friendships formed in childhood. Sometimes military moves reunite friends from past assignments, and sometimes military families maintain strong relationships with good communication and occasional visits.

Helping children understand the value of friendships both old and new builds strength and security as they grow into adults. When children discover the sustaining power of friendship in spite of time and distance, they will treasure longtime friends and be more open to new ones.

Terri Barnes, senior editor at Elva Resa Publishing, has moved at least twenty times in her life as a military child, military spouse, and mother of three military children. She is the author of  Spouse Calls: Messages from a Military Life and editor of  Seasons of My Military Student: Practical Ideas for Parents and Teachers.

More about helping students in the Season of Leaving:

• Why saying goodbye is mportant: Good Goodbyes and Building Resilience
• Healthy tips for moving with kids: Healthy Ways to Handle PCS
• Benefits of journaling: Write it Out: Journaling Helps Kids Process Emotions

Vain kehonrakennus anavar kansallinen kehonrakennusvalmentaja pidätettiin Elchessä anabolisten lääkkeiden kaupasta.

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In meet-the-teacher sessions at new schools with my children, time and time again I heard teachers use the term “proactive communication.” Teachers offer parents several ways to communicate – email addresses, phone numbers, and notation areas in student agendas. They emphasize the importance of proactive communication with all parents.

But, sometimes as parents, we aren’t one hundred percent sure when to use proactive parental communication and when to encourage our kids to advocate for themselves. This uncertainty is compounded for parents of military-connected families when deployments and PCS orders throw extra challenges in our kid’s lives. Both parent- and student-initiated proactive communication are necessary. Parent, teacher, and student are all part of the student-advocacy team and must communicate effectively.

As a teacher, the most common question I am asked is “When should parents reach out to a teacher?” Should they immediately call when they see a potential challenge, or should they wait to see how their student handles the situation first? The answer lies both in the age and maturity of the student as well as the severity of the situation. Parents of elementary and middle school students typically use proactive communication more often than parents of high school students.

Sometimes as parents, we aren’t one hundred percent sure when to use proactive communication and when to encourage our kids to advocate for themselves.

For military-connected students of all ages though, a parent’s best indicator on how to answer the proactive communication question is the student’s placement in the Season of Transition^TM.  In each season it is good to encourage students of all ages to use student-initiated communication, but often proactive communication from parents is critical to how quickly the student progresses to the Season of Thriving.

Season of Leaving

The Season of Leaving calls for both proactive communication by the parent and student. When parents are ready to disclose that PCS orders are here, it is time to reach out to the teacher to ensure he knows of the upcoming move. This can be done via the student or the parent so long as communication is also open between parent and teacher. Be open both about social and academic concerns.

“What skills do we need to focus on to be sure my daughter is ready for a new school?”

“We are living in a hotel with no quiet place to do homework.”

Talk about ways to help the student say goodbye in healthy ways. Work together to prepare the student for the new school and new curriculum expectations. Request the teacher write a teacher-to-teacher letter for use at the new school. Discuss with the student how to help him finish his time at this school feeling successful and confident for a new school location.

Season of Arriving

In the Season of Arriving, proactive communication from parents is particularly essential. In this season a parent should connect with the teacher before the student’s first day at a new school and again at the two-week point. At registration, parents should give the school the student’s Education Binder, which includes the teacher-to-teacher letter, information about past schools, experiences, accomplishments, and challenges. Schedule a short conference for the second week of school to introduce to discuss any class placement challenges or integration with peers. Being respectful of the child’s personality, try phrasing challenges into positive discussions.

“My daughter had a strong group friends and was active in clubs at our last school, what is the best way for her to become active here at this school?”

“My son is repeating classwork here. Will the curriculum move to a new skill soon or is there a better fit for his needs?”

In the conference, set a plan and timeline of when the school anticipates the student should feel fully integrated with friends and the classwork. Discuss ways the school encourages all students to approach teachers on especially challenging days; and set the student up for productive conversations with teachers.

Season of Growing

The Season of Growing calls for both proactive parent- and student-initiated communication. By the time a student reaches the Season of Growing, teachers and classmates may forget the military-connected student is still new. A buddy program that helped the student in the Season of Arriving is ending, and the student is on his own to navigate his school experience, to connect with friends and with learning.

The goal of the student-advocacy team is to encourage students to work toward self-advocacy, and to help them use student-initiated communication successfully. In this case a parent can use proactive communication with the student, encouraging and helping him or her to seek solutions. Teachers can also present ways students can reach out to teachers on especially challenging days and set the student up for productive conversations.

The goal of the student-advocacy team is to encourage students to work toward self-advocacy, and to help them use student-initiated communication successfully.

If your daughter’s classes are too far apart, and she’s having trouble getting to classes on time, encourage her to speak to her teachers to set a plan for success.

If your straight-A-student son is coming home with D’s and C’s, encourage him to speak to the teacher about tutoring programs.

Parents should be prepared to step in with proactive communications to be sure the student receives the help he needs and not wait for a challenge to create lasting consequences. In this season, it is still vital for parents and teachers, as well as students, to partner on topics like gaps or overlaps in learning. Consider that perhaps this season is exactly why teachers give parents their contact information in the first week of school.

Season of Thriving

The Season of Thriving is prime time for student-initiated communication. In this season the student is fully integrated into her school, probably has one or more committed friends, and is adjusted to the curriculum. Feeling confident to approach teachers directly and participating in extra activities are good markers that the student has reached the Season of Thriving. Communication between parents and teachers occurs less often. Students are ready and able to use student-initiated communication.

“I was invited to apply for a student leadership camp, but first I have to talk to my teachers about missing five days of class.”

“I don’t understand the assignment. Can I come in after lunch for help?”

This does not mean that parents and teachers stop initiating communication. The partnership between teachers and parents continues, as does the work of the student-advocacy team. In every season, the team continues to support the student’s ability to initiate communication and advocate for themselves. Then parents and teachers can enjoy seeing the student grow in confidence and independence.

Amanda Trimillos, EdD, is a military spouse, mother, National Board-Certified Teacher, and the coauthor of Seasons of My Military Student: Practical Ideas for Parents and Teachers.

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When navigating and building support networks for military life, personal connections make all the difference. For all the moving pieces—transitions, mental health, school changes, deployment, and more—many avenues of support are available, and a few helping hands can bring those pieces together. Seasons of My Military Student coauthors Amanda Trimillos and Stacy Allsbrook-Huisman and other experienced military spouses share best practices for building support networks.

Read more at MilitaryFamilyLife.com

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“Although they come from different branches of service, military kids have a meeting point in their friendship that is different from civilian friends,” says military mom and military kids club volunteer Stacy Allsbrook-Huisman. “It’s a quiet understanding, and it’s real.”

A military kids club can be initiated by parents, students, educators, or support organizations. Stacy, with help from her school’s Parent Teacher Association, helped create a military kids club at her children’s elementary school. She says the club benefits both students and the school in at least five ways:

Connection

At a new school, students meet other mobile military kids who understand her perspective. Military kids clubs can also work in tandem with buddy programs that connect new students individually.

Deployment support

Military kids club can connect kids who are experiencing deployment, enabling them to share their feelings with other kids going through deployment. These connections relieve feelings of fear and isolation.

Awareness

The numbers and participation in the club give the school and school district a window into the military population in their school.

Action

Awareness of military-connected students inspires professional development for teachers and staff about the experiences and needs of those students.

Celebration

When military kids connect, and the school is more aware of their presence, celebrating them takes on a new emphasis. Military kids club members can even take the lead for celebrating Month of the Military Child each April.

“Purple Up and Month of the Military Child are about military kids sharing their stories and celebrating their own experiences as much as others celebrating them,” says Stacy. “Having a military kids club gives them opportunities to share their way of life with each other and with their civilian peers.”

Amanda Trimillos, a teacher and mother of military-connected students, says being connected with other military kids was beneficial to her kids during deployment.

“It helped my children realize fellow classmates also had a parent deployed. It helped them feel part of an exclusive club,” she says. “I only wish every school would offer such an opportunity. It allows students to meet new friends and ensures no one is lost or alone.”

“I only wish every school would offer such an opportunity. It allows students to meet new friends and ensures no one is lost or alone.”

–Amanda Trimillos

To start a military kids club, Stacy and Amanda suggest beginning with support from a parent-teacher organizations or school guidance counselor. The club will need a teacher sponsor for accountability and support for a meeting location and materials.

“The program fits best under a PTA or PTO as an official program,” Stacy says, and suggests monthly, themed meetings for the students. Club goals should include offering a warm welcome and fond farewell for students moving in and out of the school.

Stacy has seen the club at her local school make a difference for military kids and for the school.

“After building the club with the support from my PTA, our military kids club became one of the largest clubs at the school with nearly sixty-five kids attending every month,” says Stacy. “Parents have sent emails thanking me and the school for helping their kids find their tribe after a new move. Every email I get brings me motivation to continue and few tears of gratefulness for the support of my school.”

Amanda Trimillos, EdD, and Stacy Allsbrook-Huisman are coauthors of Seasons of My Military Student: Practical Ideas for Parents and Teachers.

More about helping kids connect:

• New School: 5 tips to Prepare Your Student
• Military Kids Club Start-Up Plan by Stacy Allsbrook-Huisman at Families on the Homefront

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For military-connected students, the transition from middle school to high school can be compounded by a PCS move. Moving to a new community, loss of social support networks and unfamiliar academic expectations will be a heavy burden for budding teens. Planning for the transition is best way to prepare for the unknowns of a new high school.

Read more at Military Spouse magazine

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By Amanda Trimillos

As teachers welcome military students into a classroom, they may also welcome the students’ military life into classroom learning with planned and purposeful lessons.

A mobile lifestyle gives military-connected students unique knowledge of the world. They may have lived in and visited many locations, experiencing a variety of cultures overseas and across the United States. Allowing a military child to share this knowledge in class puts a spotlight on the value of her military experience and gives her peers a personal connection to textbook lessons.  For the military-connected student, an opportunity to share may also open doors of connection with classmates.

Before putting the spotlight on a student, the first step for a teacher is to get to know the student, where he has lived, his experiences, and whether he is willing to share them with the class. Some students may be hesitant about being the center of attention, particularly if they are new in class.

Ask the student about his favorite experiences and which ones he might like to share. If the student is willing, be sure he has plenty of time to prepare. For younger students, it might be appropriate to speak with parents about ways students can contribute.

Many Ways to Share

Teachers can link military students’ experiences to classroom learning in many ways. For example, a student may wish to

• Tell the class about experiences with a different culture or language.
• Bring souvenirs, maps, traditional clothing, food, or artwork.
• Choose a research project based on personal experience and travel.
• Talk about holiday celebrations in other countries or regions.
• Show currency from other countries and talk about exchange rates for a math lesson.

Allow classmates, in a Q and A format, to ask how the student’s personal experiences in a country differ from textbook examples; or how those experiences differ from where the student lives now.

Stateside travels can be helpful, too. Perhaps the class is studying a location in the U.S. where a student has lived. She might have a personal perspective on regional foods or landmarks.

This form of experience-sharing may be new to both military-connected students and civilian peers. Encourage all students to listen carefully to one another, showing respect for differing lifestyles and locations. When approached thoughtfully, this sharing can strengthen peer relationships as well as enhance learning.

Conversations about different locations can also help military-connected students build new memories and connections locally. Ask other students to highlight places and events in the local community, showing the value of their experiences, too. These new connections will add to the richness of the military-student’s life and may become the lessons she will share at her next school.

Amanda Trimillos, EdD, helps education colleagues integrate military-connected students into the classroom.  She is a military spouse, mother, National Board-Certified Teacher, and the coauthor of Seasons of My Military Student: Practical Ideas for Parents and Teachers.

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